New Blog…

Hey everyone. I can’t stand the politics subject anymore. The people you have voted into office at this point are all worthless, the media for the most part sucks, and no one is ever accountable for their actions. Nothing gets done… Nothing… Where’s the CHANGE? Where’s my voice in the government? Because all I hear from the politicians who I pay to represent me is that I’m a racist, too dumb to raise my own kid (they apparently know how), I can’t feed myself without their help and that their concept of life, death, love, hate… Is the right one. Of couse the irony is that the crap they’re shoving down our throats is that their concept of right is… Well… Left.

So they can have it. It’s time to focus on something else. There are better blogs than mine. Dedicated bloggers who are faster, smarter, funnier, but certainly not better looking. Bloggers that can somehow do this everyday, read the news all day and tell the stories of the entire pile of shit the world is in and can do it without wanting to buy a closed missle silo and hole up with a lifetime of Jack Daniels, frozen burritos, a terabyte of porn and a bunch of hobos in cages. Go to AoSHQ or Hotair. They’re 2 of the best out there. Plus Michelle Malkin is… Hot… As… Hell…

But needless to say I like the whole “Blogging Thing” and having a fun “Persona” to vent my creative back-pressure. So go check out the new place… New topics… New brains to spill. New worlds to conquer (that word means to dominate you morons).

Hopefully things will “Change” and this freaky-deaky bizarro world I find myself in will someday need Ed Gruberman… But probably not. Thank you everyone who reads this crappy blog, suck a fat one to those who don’t.

Remember kids… Stay calm, relax, and breathe… Everything’s going to be ok. Now get your ass up and kill some ZOMBIES!

I Will Survive!

Those of you who know me, and most of you don’t, but those who do know of my love for all things zombie. Zombie books, movies and TV shows have always been my favorite genre since I saw Day of the Dead back in 1985. There’s just something about the Zombie Apocalypse that simply intrigues me. So I have over the years collected some of the best zombie information out there. Including the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. It is a companion piece to the hugely successful and soon the be movie and audiobook sensation World War Z and is a manual on how to survive should those God damn brain eating’ zombies should take over and is written and even illustrated in the same format as the Boy Scout Manual. Anywhoo…

Over on AoSHQ in the Overnight Open Thread there’s a link to how to care for wounds when the medial system collapses. I reccomend it as a quick read. You never know when you may be faced with an open wound after fending off several dozen hungry zombies. Just reading it may put enough info into your long term memory for you to recall this in your moment of panicked screaming. I’ll post a bit of the info below the fold but head on over there and read the whole thing. Good luck and remember…


A wound requires four simple things to heal: blood flow, oxygen, nutrients, and the ABSENCE OF INFECTION. If possible, a member of the group who’se wounded should get some extra food, and a vitamin pill a day.

In terms of oxygen and nutrients, these are all provided by blood flow. This brings up the subject of tourniquets. Tourniquets should ONLY be used as a measure of last resort, to prevent the patient from bleeding to death.

Remember – direct pressure stops 99% of bleeding. Take a piece of cloth, ball it up and press HARD against the bleeding area for five minutes by your watch – which will seem like five hours – then check and see if the bleeding has subsided – only if three or four attempts fail should a tourniquet be used.

So head on over to and gather up some information for the end of days.

Into the Fire

I saw this referred to in the comments section on AoSHQ that I cannot seem to find again. I remembered it from seeing the play “The Scarlet Pimpernel” in college and couldn’t help but see that it’s rather fitting given my… well… all of our current situation. But mine in particular because I’m selfish prick. Anywhoo… Enjoy…

Into the Fire…

David walked into the valley with a stone clutched in his hand. He was only a boy but he knew someone must take a stand. There will always be a valley, always mountains one must scale.

There will always be perilous waters which someone must sail. Into valleys, into waters, into jungles, into hell. Let us ride, let us ride home again with a story to tell. Into darkness, into danger, into storms that rip the night. Don’t give in, but give up, but give thanks for the glorious fight.

You can tremble, you can fear it. But keep your fighting spirit alive boys! Let the shiver of it sting you. Fling into battle, spring to your feet boys. Never hold back your step for a moment, never doubt that your courage will grow. Hold your head even higher and into the fire we go!

Are there mountains that surround us? Are there walls that block the way? Knock ’em down, strip ’em back boys and forward and into the fray. Into terror, into valour charge ahead, no never turn. Yes, it’s into the fire we fly and the devil will burn. Someone has to face the valley.

Rush in, we have to rally and win boys! When the world is saying not to By God, you know you’ve got to march on, boys! Never hold back your step for a moment, never doubt that your courage will grow.

Hold your head ever higher and into the fire we go. Let the lightning strike, let the flash of it shock you. Choke your fears away, pull as tight as a wire, let the fever strike. Let the force of it rock you, we will have our day, sailing into the fire.

Someone has to face the valley rush in! We have to rally and win boys. When the world is saying not to By God, you know you’ve got to march on, boys! Never hold back your step for a moment. Look alive! Oh, your courage will grow!

Yes, it’s higher and higher and into the fire we go! Into fire! Onward, ho!

The True SOTU in Biblical Prose

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land
called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their
will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that
person known as “The One.”

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He
hypnotized the people telling them, “I am sent to save you.” My lack
of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my
association with evil doers are of no consequence.. I shall save you
with hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the
land that he who proceeded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation,
and that all he has built must be destroyed. And the people rejoiced,
for even though they knew not what “The One” would do, he had promised
that it was good; and they believed. And “The One” said ” We live in
the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!”
And the people said, “Hallelujah! Change is good!”


Attack of the Giant Squid

This is my co-worker/SuperFriend’s band “Attack of the Giant Squid”… he’s on bass.

Best Fight Scene EVAH!

Undefeatable”… Kristi Jones (Cynthia Rothrock) avenges her sister’s death at the hands of a crazed martial arts rapist.

Remakes From Our Childhood

I bitched in the Nightmare on Elm St. 2010 poat below that I’m really sick of “them” remaking our childhood memories. But… and this is a big but… I found one that is an improvement on the original… Plus… Good message, something everyone should take to heart.

We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who’s gonna dance with me?
Please stay

Seether’s single “Careless Whisper”… covering Wham’s original tune.

Nightmare On Elm Street 2010

Why the fuck must they remake every gad damn movie from our childhood? Here’s the #2 trailer for Nightmare on Elm Street featuring someone else as Freddy Krueger.

Here’s the guy playing Krueger… Jackie Earle Haley… Whatevah…

European Parliment Pawnage

Nigel Farage asks Van Rompuy who the hell he is. To be honest I don’t know who the hell either of them are. But this is damn funny. I’d like to see this happen here.

We were told that when we had a president, we’d see a giant global political figure – the man that would be the political leader for 500 million people. The man that would represent all of us on the world stage. The man whose job was so important that of course you’re paid more than President Obama. Well, I’m afraid what we’ve got was you. And I’m sorry, but after that performance, earlier, that you gave – and I don’t want to be rude – but, you know, really, you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk.

Hysterical! Beck Goofs On Letters To Obama.

Glenn Beck makes fun of those “Letters To Obama” written by little kids supposedly… oddly enough they are always pushing a liberal agenda. Definitely a good listen.


Here are some random letters to Obama via Huffinton Post

Dear President Obama,

I am so happy you are our new president! And it is not just because you are black, it is because you have some great ideas! And I wanted to be a singer, dancer, and actress but you open new doors for me. You open the doors for everybody. Now I think that now I can be the first female black president! And we went from black people not being able to vote and that changed and then black people never got a chance to be president but you changed that. And for that, it is like you are my and the whole world’s hero!

Love (a 9 year old),

P.S. I won’t put TV before homework.

Dear President Obama,

I want to say you are the bomb. I love all your speeches. Even my grandma does. I feel sorry for your grandmother but she’s there up in heaven watching over you. When you get to the white house you will have our help.

I’m so happy that you are becoming president. Can you make a change about the cops? They need to pay more attention at the Lincoln Tunnel.

Write back.

Your friend,

Dear President Obama,

I knew you would win. You easily won by a landslide. Do you think you can lower taxes? Just 20 dollars. My mom wants to move. I do too. The house we want to move to cost twice as much. So, can you please do that? I hope you have a good time being president. I know I would. I also hope you get free time. How did you get to spend time with family and do the election? Also can you really bend the rules? If you can please make children do less homework. Especially on holidays. On holidays they load us with homework. One last request. I promise it’s my last one. Can you make Friday a weekend like Saturday and Sunday?