25 ways to be a good democrat…
If you’re thinking about becoming a democrat – you may want to take this little test to make sure you are going to fit in.
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but urban activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that having self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it manipulates certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that as long as there is a Republican in the White House, they are responsible for everything from the direction the wind blows to vaccinating the entire world for a flu that 116 people have contracted. If however, a democrat is in the White House – the responsibility no longer exists.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that John Kerry’s Purple Hearts are legitimate, and that a Massachusetts Senator more liberal than Teddy Kennedy can be elected President of the United States.
22. You have to believe that the ACLU knows more about raising your children than you do.
23. You have to believe that signs that bear the statement, “In God We Trust” are offensive, but pornography is not.
24. You have to believe that offending a Muslim, Athiest or Homosexual is absolutely intolerable, but offending a Christian is o.k.
25. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
Thanks to Politically InCorrect Mom